From the columist who's feeling better about things

Porn, or something like it.


All the news from JustDonal inc.


Chromosome One Sequenced

Scientists have sequenced the last chromosome in the human genome in an attempt to decode the genome and unlock secrets to human life. Shockingly, one of the revelations of the genome is that Shambo and Catriona had a son together.

No Da Vinci Code For Us!

JustDonal has sensationally censored all of us here at the office from seeing "The Da Vinci Code". He said "It's disgusting, it's obscene, it's downright blasphemous!" He was of course talking about Tom Hanks' haircut.

Da Vinci Code controversy rolls on!

The filmakers are very keen to stress that the film has no basis on fact and his is a complete work of fiction. The producers are also keen to get to work on their next work of fiction "JustDonal is straight".

VivaLaPablo's stock advice

Invest in The Weather Channel apparently there is going to be 16 hurricanes in the coming year!

Top Ten Way Strictly Jonathan can improve his image

10. Lucky fan gets to rub him down before he writes each column

9. Develop a way for Viva La Pablo to be more captive towards his female audience

8. Start an independent erotic blog

7. Become a plumber/porn star

6. Open clothes shop: "Big, Tall and Bonerific."

5. Star in one of those "We have 15 kids" films with Steve Martin

4. For every column he writes he will donate 500 euro to the good people erectiledisfuntion.org

3. Auction autographed photos of Elaine on eBay

2. Switch from writing for the website to studying a la Basically Brian

1. For the love of God man, at least write another column some time this year!

Quote of the week - "You can't buy class" - Briogaid Dearg to Bohemians supporters, courtesy of IL signe